Single Mom Striking Out

I've been staying in this place for the past 10+ years and we are to be moving out and selling this place soon. To say that we are not kind of uncomfortable is an understatement. We have grown so accustomed to our place that everything works like clockwork. We know where everything is and how things work around here. And yet life throws you challenges. My kids are going to be needing funds for their education a car, business whatever it is that is written in their future. I don't know how people do it. My ex is like 'no big deal' and I am like it's a freaking big deal! 😢😂 I knew this house was gonna go because I held on so long because of this very moment: the moment I enter a new phase and the kids need money for college or whatever. I knew that. That's why Buddhists teach you not to attach. A house is a house is a house. It's not a home. A home is where you and your family are. A home is where you are comfortable, your refuge, ...

Nothing is perfect. It's always a trade off for good and bad things because you can't have everything in life. We need to pick and choose.

... But you can be sure that I was never like this. I did not start off stuffy and buttoned-up. I was a Freewheeling teenager with all the bustamoves you can imagine. I was reckless, free-spirited, followed my heart and dreams. I did what I wanted. Until one day, I walked into someone who told me I was the most awful person he has ever met. He made me feel like trash. And I believed him and tried to change and prove him wrong. In the events that followed, I changed. I never wanted to change. I wanted to be the free-spirited person that I was before. But here I am. A changed spirit. And now, the challenge. Can I change back to being myself?

When the mind acknowledges a sound as a sound, a feeling as a feeling and taste as taste, we have achieved the mind of buddho . This is the ultimate type of mind we all want to achieve in order to have peace. You know when was the hardest time I've had with this? When my neighbors were renovating. Like omg! Lol True story and I am sure I am not alone in this  But the quote from Ajahn Chah is true. It's when you learn how to be stuck in a traffic jam, acknowledge it as a traffic jam, without being sucked into absolutely abhorring the traffic jam that your mind is truly at peace.  That's what we should all aim to be, isn't it?