People might say I am stuffy...

... But you can be sure that I was never like this. I did not start off stuffy and buttoned-up. I was a Freewheeling teenager with all the bustamoves you can imagine.

I was reckless, free-spirited, followed my heart and dreams. I did what I wanted.

Until one day, I walked into someone who told me I was the most awful person he has ever met. He made me feel like trash. And I believed him and tried to change and prove him wrong.

In the events that followed, I changed. I never wanted to change. I wanted to be the free-spirited person that I was before.

But here I am. A changed spirit.

And now, the challenge. Can I change back to being myself?

Comments

R.I.P. to Another Shining Star : Kim Jonghyun

Generally speaking, I DO listen to a little bit of Kpop, not always, but when I do, I am almost always enraptured by the countless melodic compositions and ballads. My favorite Korean singer, to this very day, remains to be Sung Si Kyung and Shinhwa. I've also listened to TVXQ, Super Junior, ZE;A and many others. I sometimes search up Girls Generation because I like how the girls' long limbs are almost always so coordinated, they look like clockwork. But that was maybe the problem...the clockwork. Kim Jonghyun, a member of Shinee, took his own life this week, days shy of Christmas and a brand new year. It tears at my heart a little, the same way it did when I found out Chester Bennington ended his own. Shining stars on our planet, blessed with emotional breath so deep that their emotions would often seep out of their skins and spread across the sea of tens of thousands of fans during their concerts and live performances. Even without being in their presence, their songs a...

Unsticking yourself from Old Belief Systems

It's the raining season over here in Malaysia and going out for anything can be a hassle, you know what I am talking about Florida, Washington and London. Either you are going to end up completely drenched or your sneakers are going to smell a little funky tomorrow. Today, my son said something to me when I lamented about the rain. ' Mom, we've got enough umbrellas, why is it that we never use them and end up running about frantically ?' Good question, my son. I don't know the answer myself. Why? LOL So, we grabbed the few umbrellas on the way out for lunch and we splashed around in the rain, flicking rain water at each other as we catch them falling from the edges of the umbrellas. Like kids do, not worrying about the sneakers tomorrow or getting sick tomorrow. It's funny when kids ask you questions like these and you realize that you stuck to something in your brain without knowing why you're doing it. The answers to why I never used the umbrellas...

A Sweet Life

Bad news comes along everyday but last year alone, quite a few bad news struck me. The timing was like a mechanical pendulum. I thought to myself several times that I had enough, that what I needed was a break. A 10 day retreat where I am required to speak to no one, do nothing, listen to silence and nature and just be what I am meant to be. But real life is not something you can escape for a long period of time. I served my silence....but reality will pendulum-swing back. A friend passed away after being in a coma for a few months. I know both husband and wife and they've always been really positive about handling the toughest of life situations. We may not agree with everything, but we do agree on many. During the time she was unconscious, I prayed every single day. I kid you not. Her husband would report about her condition, good or bad, and I would either offer thanks or pray for good news and strength. Even during the worst hit moments, I kept the posi...

Single Mom Striking Out

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