Single Mom Striking Out

I don't always believe or use these cards but the chances of them coming out the way they did was a bit freaky because it answered my questions. We're making some transitions and one of the things that I am worried about is safety. Are we going to be safe? We are also going to miss so many things we are used to. I feel unsafe! But these cards are comforting. I am going to keep them in this order to remind and calm myself. It's ok. Have faith and confidence. My loved ones and I am protected and loved.

With the boys approaching different junctures in their lives, I am finding things a little disorientating. More time spent planning, fretting, worrying, talking and on the road. They are still going to the same school so the morning and afternoon route is the norm. Now that they're splitting up, I am facing a shit storm ahead. There's going to be hell on my schedule and I am going to device a method so that I can get work done. I've still got to work and bring in the bread. That's the problem. In other luckier families, one person is usually assigned to doing this. As a single parent, all of it lies on my shoulder. It's hard. I know nothing in life is easy but being a single parent is one of the hardest thing to do in life. Was it a choice? Yes and no. Yes, it was the better option. No because 2 people in this gig is better than 1. But I will take this in my stride and do the best that I can. That's all that this universe can ask from me. Everything else is ...

Remember to keep your appointments with Here and Now. They won't come again. This rings particularly true these days with my mind flying off in many different directions within the span of seconds. It's like a puddle of mush in here, sometimes.  Sometimes it feels like "yeah! I'm excited" and other times, I feel like "Gosh, I am so under water! Help". Things are taking on a new turn these days and not a lot of people, friends and family especially, know about the amount of stress this is putting on me. I feel like no one's going to understand, or they are just going to swipe my feelings left and leave me feeling like a small child being dismissed. This is what my family make me feel, with the exception of a few people, of course. I am not going to name names. XD Trying to keep things as positive as possible and reminding myself with quotes like the one below keeps me sane (not for very long, though, but helps, nevertheless).  Be li...

Have I stopped believing the best in people? I was having a chat with my 4 year old nephew in the car while I was sending him home from school. The runs are usually made by my dad but some days, his schedule bombs and I kick in. It doesn't happen a lot but I have been picking up and dropping kids in and out of school for 18 years, this is a walk in the park. Apart from the fact that thank God he recognizes me as his aunt and not a potential serial killer , he's also a very aggressively curious kid. I don't come into close contact with my nephews much except for birthday dinners and stuff. But even during the short ride home, there's this innocence about him that is so refreshing. The trusting nature of children is like a banana in a pile of blackberries. Refreshing. They are not afraid to ask and they believe your answer. He asked me if one of the traffic lights was 'old' and I said 'as old as a dinosaur'. He believed me. Literally. Becaus...