Single Mom Striking Out

by  by Lori Deschene Our past actions shaped today. But we are not what we’ve been. We don’t need to carry around labels or mistakes from yesterday as if they define us. Whatever you’ve done, it’s over. It doesn’t have to brand you, particularly not if you’re making the conscious choice to do things differently now. We can judge ourselves by the weakest moments  or  the strongest—that’s our choice. Choose to focus on the strongest, and then leverage that pride for more of those moments. Every time you feel good about what you do it’s one more reminder to love who you are. Read more >> (TinyBuddha)

I know of some really great people in this world who gives kindly to others, to charitable organizations and also to poor people who are suffering from health ailments and have no way to getting medical attention.  bless these people. bless their hearts and the people that they love. when one gives from the bottom of one's heart, this is called altruistic love. love born out of compassion and kindness to another human being who is less blessed. there are all forms of charity. all good for the recipient but it makes a difference to the person who is offering the aid. one, someone who gives because he or she feels responsible. for a sick aunt, a gambler of a grandfather. a loathesome neighbor in order to protect the wife because he or she feels responsible as a neighbor. two, someone who gives because of fear. confronted with an aggressive beggar or someone who was asking for money in a threatening way, he or she gives in. this is charity under duress. three, someone who gi...

It is challenging to become more Zen-like when you are absolutely sooooo human. One of the principles that I am really struggling to learn is learning how to prevent bad thoughts from making an appearance in my head. Buddhism stresses a whole lot mindfulness and the controlling your thoughts, you see. Why i am struggling is because of a recent incident with a friend i thought was a good friend. I had it in me that this was someone i really wanted to be close to. I open up to him in many ways that i don't usually do for others. Hence, it hurt more to have him behave the way he did when things went wrong. I was extremely hurt. Therefore, till this very day, I find it hard not to feel angry and hurt whenever his name pops up in a conversation. It is as if the wounds were still fresh, that they were inflicted yesterday. But I have to move past these feelings...there isn't any point in keeping them in me. I must learn how to eradicate these bad thoughts whenever they appear ...

Many people, when thinking about Zen Buddhism, envisages someone who meditates all the time, eats little, is a Vegan, does very little, is passive and have little ambition in life. This cannot be further from the truth. In life, we have senses that receives on a consistent basis. It clutters our mind and muddles out journey. How is it possible for someone to achieve one's ambition when there is so much clutter and noise? How is it possible for us to set goals when we have so much distraction? That is where Zen comes in handy. In order to live a Zen life, our primary aim is to remove all clutter and to find our own purpose in life. We build Metta Karuna (love for self and compassion for our fellow human beings) for the betterment of humankind. In short, everyone's life is like a needle in a haystack. If we want to find the needle, we need to mindfully remove the hay. In meditation, we make it possible. It is like we are putting on a special type of glasses that helps us se...

Read about the NKVE bus crash near Negeri Sembilan (a Southern Malaysian state) yesterday night and my knees went weak....my brother travels quite constantly between KL and Johor (used to be Melaka) during the weekend and he usually goes back around evening time too. More than 40 people were injured and 12 dead and mangled because of the crash. Sigh....when will our government do something about the erratic driving style of these bus drivers? When will they be more responsible about the fact that there are many,  many lives in their hands? While it is not possible to eradicate all traffic accidents, it is possible to improve our stats. Anyway, thankfully, THANKFULLY that he was not involved. But because he was on his way back to Johor after a wedding dinner in NS, he was stuck in the jam. Journey back started at approx 11pm and he reached JB only at 5.30am. Talk about long drive, eh? that aside, i am just thankful that my brother is still here with us. may those involved ...

Everyone's born for a purpose. Live it, believe in it, have faith that you are equipped with the intuition to know which direction you are heading. Even when you have absolutely no idea what you are doing or if you are doing it for a purpose, you need to let it all go and have faith. Strive. Strive hard but take time, every single day, to slow down and reflect. If you do not know what your purpose is, it is alright. No one can be absolutely sure and certain that they are doing the right thing...but the heart knows. The right thing to do is to consult people around you, talk to them. Get their opinion on things and do not defend when they do not agree with you. It is THEIR opinion and you asked them for it. So, accept it and think about it. The most important thing is to, after asking people around you, ask YOURSELF. Always base your decisions on your instincts and experience. Is that what you want? What are the sacrifices and are you willing to make them? Would this make yo...

I have never been a morning person...just ask my mom. And do you know how hard it is to live a zen life when one is born nocturnal. I find myself the liveliest and also the most creative when the sun is down and when there is absolutely no sound whatsoever outside...including the kids. In order to live a nice, peaceful and calm life, as i have discovered, one needs to wake up fresh very early in the morning...in time to meet and greet the wonderful morning sun. Egad. Big trouble. But this is something that I am going to try doing. Waking up early in the morning, in time to greet the sun, from tomorrow onwards. I know it is a friday and i wish i could start another day. but you know what? i don't see the point in starting tomorrow when i can start today. it is like everything else in life - (insert excuse), i'll start tomorrow. no. just start. make no excuses. i'll let you know if i get out of this effort alive. :)