Single Mom Striking Out

It's been a tough year but it's not beaten us yet. I sincerely hope for a better year ahead! Nothing crazy easy or super amazing, just a little easier than before. I wish all sentient beings on this planet, whether you're enjoying a much-needed break with your family/friends, or trying to get ready for the new school year for your children, all the best that the world has to offer.  I am not sure if this is a real quote but I agree all the same.  Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man/woman - Benjamin Franklin All of us have battles to fight, people to face, challenges to overcome, resolutions to meet, children to feed, families or friends to love, and a life of dreams to achieve.  May we never forget the core missions in this life and achieve as many things in those missions as possible in 2018. 

Isn't it funny? Another year is approaching. It seems as though we've only just welcomed the new year, 2017, with fireworks and me, with  an air-filled, aching digestive system.  And yet, here we are. At the threshold of another new year.  Not only have I stopped making new year resolutions but it has been years since I've last earnestly updated my Facebook with a status update. Except for wishing my family and friends an official birthday or a festival, I've almost completely stopped using Facebook.  Amongst all the social networks out there, I think Facebook is the most toxic, not because it was designed to be that way, but because of the sheer number of people there.  People who don't know you but have met you probably don't care about what you post of Facebook but it is the people who KNOW you very well are the ones you should avoid. So, in my personal opinion, if we want to continue building real life relationships with real people in real ...

I am one of those who tell myself that others have it worse than me. I no longer know how to cry or whine. I don't believe it is a weakness, I just think it doesn't serve me and I need to move on instead of dwell. But there is some truth in this statement : letting it out and acknowledging the painful emotion is an important part of the healing process. In not allowing ourselves to be weak forces us to pretend and move on and not giving ourselves the chance to heal. Like a physical wound, emotional ones need space, time and attention as well. This coming year, I'll try to do more acknowledging and less running.

When someone you know decides to end his or her life, there's so much to grieve and question; there's also much to learn. After all the questions, we finally come to terms with their decisions. What's different about an accident and a suicide is that the decision was made by someone you know... Or someone you thought you knew . We know it's not the answer but they sometimes don't see beyond a closed door. There's nothing we can do but to leave our doors open. That's the best that we can do. The rest is really up to them. Our jobs as friends, family and loved ones is to let them know that they are loved, appreciated and we are here for them. Beyond that, it's between them and karma, God and the Universe. There isn't a point for us to intervene because it is not our job to do so. Our job is to be there and let them know. Mental illness continues to be a taboo and I wish one day, it'll be commonly talked about without anyone being judged neg...

... It would have solved a lot of people's problems. I have friends who seems to have all the money, or close to it, that they want or need but does not seem to be happy all the time. So, money is not the solution. And if money was the solution, then there would not be any problems. That's a Chinese saying. Some people belive that money can be earned but happiness can't. Therefore if we have a problem with money, then there's really not a problem if we are willing to work hard and look at all the right places. I don't know, it seems as thought that I have been having money problems for quite some time now. I am not the worst but I wish there was an easier way out. 'My boys and their Love for me will always keep me company, no matter where or who I am with'  That was what I wrote and declared back then but we, parents, need to realize that our kids are not ours and they will have their own  lives when they are bigger. I also thought that I...

Generally speaking, I DO listen to a little bit of Kpop, not always, but when I do, I am almost always enraptured by the countless melodic compositions and ballads. My favorite Korean singer, to this very day, remains to be Sung Si Kyung and Shinhwa. I've also listened to TVXQ, Super Junior, ZE;A and many others. I sometimes search up Girls Generation because I like how the girls' long limbs are almost always so coordinated, they look like clockwork. But that was maybe the problem...the clockwork. Kim Jonghyun, a member of Shinee, took his own life this week, days shy of Christmas and a brand new year. It tears at my heart a little, the same way it did when I found out Chester Bennington ended his own. Shining stars on our planet, blessed with emotional breath so deep that their emotions would often seep out of their skins and spread across the sea of tens of thousands of fans during their concerts and live performances. Even without being in their presence, their songs a...

Sometimes I find myself acting small because I am trying to be humble. Sometimes, however, I find myself doing so because I lack confidence.  It takes very little to watch more than a decade of experience doing what I do crumble into almost nothing...in mere seconds. A word, an action, a perceived thought or through my own imagination, the big wall of experience and confidence becomes bits and pieces of puzzles that I have to put together again.  That's why it's important for us to surround ourselves with people who believe unconditionally in us, to remind us that we're worth everything we think we do. And even when our confidence shatters, our beliefs won't. Even with a smidgen of hope and a little bit of faith, it is just as easy for it to be rebuilt as it was for it to shake and shatter. Rebuild again and again. You are the Universe in ecstatic motion and don't let anyone stop you from thinking so.

I wonder if everyone's moved onto a new chapter without me. It seems so. I wonder if I've been here all this time, thinking that I am being loyal, when others think that I've been such an ass. Maybe. People seems to have moved on to other things in their lives...had another baby, moved home, changed cars, has gotten another job or is blogging for another website. Am I the only one still doing the same thing? Looks like it is so. Am I right or am I wrong? I have no freaking idea. But I think the Universe has sent me messages to move out of my comfort zone. First off, big changes were forced upon me and I still don't know what to do. That's the thing with being alone. Half the time you don't dare to make any drastic move because...you know, it's all on you. But I think in a good way, God is telling me to move my ass. One thing after another, slowly. One step at a time. I hope I am doing it right. If I am not, please give me another chance.