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R.I.P. to Another Shining Star : Kim Jonghyun

Generally speaking, I DO listen to a little bit of Kpop, not always, but when I do, I am almost always enraptured by the countless melodic compositions and ballads. My favorite Korean singer, to this very day, remains to be Sung Si Kyung and Shinhwa. I've also listened to TVXQ, Super Junior, ZE;A and many others. I sometimes search up Girls Generation because I like how the girls' long limbs are almost always so coordinated, they look like clockwork.

But that was maybe the problem...the clockwork.

Kim Jonghyun, a member of Shinee, took his own life this week, days shy of Christmas and a brand new year. It tears at my heart a little, the same way it did when I found out Chester Bennington ended his own.

Shining stars on our planet, blessed with emotional breath so deep that their emotions would often seep out of their skins and spread across the sea of tens of thousands of fans during their concerts and live performances. Even without being in their presence, their songs and lyrics can clench your heart.

I am also born a little bit more emotional and sensitive to those around me and have suffered from a period of scary depression. I would not even confidently say that I have 'recovered' from it because sometimes I find myself wallowing too. But thanks to the presence of my kids, they bring me back to earth.

It's hard to explain what depression feels like to those who have never been through it. They won't be able to comprehend the iron grip it has on a human being. Often seen as a weakness and a condition that can be 'manned up to', I abhor the way people looked at it.

People need to understand that the grip on the human mind is so strong that it is sometimes impossible to snap out of. It's not sadness or grief or disappointment. It's so much deeper and harder to beat.

You can't eat an extra piece of chocolate, ice-cream or consume alcohol to 'snap out of it'. You need medication and, most importantly, a support system; you need to be surrounded by people who will be there for you, silently or otherwise.

I sometimes think to myself that I am a burden because, without my kids, I would have offed myself too. Many years ago, a seemingly happy friend of mine committed suicide too close to my home. It shook me to the core. I wasn't able to function normally for more than a month, thinking and rethinking the whole thing, over and over again, wondering if there was something that I should have seen or done.

I came to the conclusion that depression cannot be viewed as a weakness. It is a condition. It's time to change the way people laugh about depression, make jokes about it, jab their friends over it and be more serious in really being there for their friends and family. Be compassionate about your friends because, despite everything, we're all human beings.

Jonghyun, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, and the likes, are stars in our eyes, they're in the spotlight for the work that they do...but that's all that is different. We are all human beings and what can strike them can strike you too.

Let's be there for one another when we need it instead of judging. There may not be an immediate solution but at the very least, the sufferer does not feel alone while trudging through the muddy waters of a depressed mind.

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