Single Mom Striking Out

Every single day.... People have no idea what it feels like to be a single parent...whether you're a mom or a dad. Especially when you don't have a support system.  Considering the questions that I have been asking myself lately which includes:- Am I lonely? Am I too picky? Am I too cocky? Am I too obnoxious? Am I too self-absorbed? Am I too family-focused? Am I neglecting myself? Do I need a man? Do I WANT a man? What kind of fun would I like to have as a person, as the little girl that I used to be, the fun-loving teenager and brazen adult? What if money wasn't an issue with this family? What am I missing as a human, as a person? I've been told that I should focus on myself and throw caution to the wind. Have fun, there is no better time to have it all than RIGHT NOW. Forget about everything and just let it go.  Can I ? What about the bills? What about the food, the kids and their upbringing? Would it be better with a man arou...

Someone said something really degrading to me the other day which I think was meant to be a compliment. It made me feel cheap and like a sex object. Why do people do this? I am more than a vagina. I didn't live my whole life trying to attract men to sleep with me. In fact, I have gone out of my way to NOT do that because that is not what I want. I have been through enough to KNOW that is not what I want and yet, why do men still do that? Is sex all they think about? Or is it a result of what I project? In fact, my neighbor and his friends (and a former neighbor) just wanted me to sleep with the behind their wives' back. Do I look that desperate? Maybe I should dress a little better? If that is what it takes, then I will do it! Seriously! Just so that men will stop thinking I am desperate for sex which I am not. But maybe I shouldn't react to it. I rarely give first reactions these days. I always wait a few days after hearing something something from...

Had a horrible start of the day with my Dinosaur Boy and it was a nose-to-nose argument. I maintained my position as THE boss of this house and I want to do so because I am paying all the bills. Not to mention the fact that I freaking gave birth to him .  He has to understand and respect that. But he's maintaining his right to get angry at me for my responses.  These are difficult positions to maintain for a teenage boy and his mother.  So, in this house, it was definitely a rainy day. It was STORMING and I wanted to walk out of the house and never come back! Driving away from the house felt liberating. I am ashamed to feel this way but I shouldn't. There's no shame in that because most parents will feel this at one point of their lives. If they have not, they've either not been around much or are lying. But like every rain, ☔ it ends. It has to end because it is not possible to rain forever. No matter what it is or was, he is my Dinosaur Boy. Forev...