Skip to main content

What Would I Do With Myself?

By
Lol. Whenever the kids are off with their friends or dad (which is what's happening right now), I just wonder what I'd do with myself.

It's time, I guess, to find myself again. As a mother, a single mother, your world would often revolve around just making everything as 'alright' as possible for the people you're responsible for. Your kids.  

It's been 18 years now that I've been thrown into the parenting mix. At first, scared and unsure. Then a little more informed. Then frantic, chaotic, anxious, tumultuous, then calm, reassuring...and then things change. 

Nothing stays permanent, says the Buddha. The only thing permanent and consistent in life is change. 

It's time I rediscover myself. To go on a journey to rediscover that little girl who was so cock-sure she had everything under the thumb only to land in the unknown and terrifying world of parenting. 

It's time to change. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

R.I.P. to Another Shining Star : Kim Jonghyun

By
Generally speaking, I DO listen to a little bit of Kpop, not always, but when I do, I am almost always enraptured by the countless melodic compositions and ballads. My favorite Korean singer, to this very day, remains to be Sung Si Kyung and Shinhwa. I've also listened to TVXQ, Super Junior, ZE;A and many others. I sometimes search up Girls Generation because I like how the girls' long limbs are almost always so coordinated, they look like clockwork. But that was maybe the problem...the clockwork. Kim Jonghyun, a member of Shinee, took his own life this week, days shy of Christmas and a brand new year. It tears at my heart a little, the same way it did when I found out Chester Bennington ended his own. Shining stars on our planet, blessed with emotional breath so deep that their emotions would often seep out of their skins and spread across the sea of tens of thousands of fans during their concerts and live performances. Even without being in their presence, their songs a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Never Thought I's Say This But...

By
...for the sheer number of years that I've spent with my head clouded with hangovers, I really never thought I'd say that I hate the feeling. Finally opened the bottle of white wine my former neighbor gave me before we left the old home and had it while watching a show. It was a nice feeling. But I hated the feeling the next day. The anxiety. The shakiness. The uncertainty. The headache. The inability to string my thoughts together. There were moments when I sat down with my eyes closed, wondering to myself how I did this before. Not for years, but for more than a decade. For more than 10 years, I often woke up with a clouded head. It's coming to 2 years since I've decided to turn the tables around. There are days when I still drink with friends, myself and with neighbors. I would, however, say that it has become more of a social obligation than anything else. I enjoy the short few hours of bravado and excitement and then wake up the next day with my head splitt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Be Yourself, everyone else is already taken – Oscar Wilde

By
Of all the quotes that I go through on a daily basis, I think this one struck too close to the heart.  I think the 'trying to be someone else' syndrome is more common amongst girls and ladies than boys or men. That is because society and the media feeds girls with the image of how we should be, how slim we should persevere to be, the type of love we should expect from our other half, the kind of kids we should have, the kind of life we should expect when we love those around us....etc. In today's society, it's even more worrying and suffice to say that I have become thankful that I do not have daughters. If I did, I would have to spend considerable time and effort to assure them that not everyone have to be like the Olsen twins and that Paris Hilton does NOT have a perfect life. And no, you should not turn yourself into one of the Kardashians to be popular amongst your friends. I think of all the things that I wished my parents taught me as I was growing up is this...
Post a Comment
Read more