Single Mom Striking Out

Since a few years ago, I've had consistent dreams of a 'strange', 'mysterious' or a 'new' home...yes, as in a house. Sometimes it was about the home I used to stay in with my in-laws where my kids were growing up. Sometimes about me in my old home with my parents and siblings. Sometimes about a home I've never seen before. And sometimes about any of the above homes but with secret passageways or rooms. Nearly all those dreams (or nightmares as they can be sometimes) involve some kind of confusion and situations that I'm afraid of. Like my mom not liking my cooking. A new stretch of lawn that was never there. A room I suddenly fell in love with. And this time, it's about a my old-old home that I was forced to live in because I was ousted or thrown out of into the streets. So, I was living there with my little ones (in my dream, they're always at around age 7 or so, in fact, my younger son might have just been a baby in the dream), ...

I know they say assholes are everywhere and that we should not be vengeful about how people treat us because it brings us down to their level. But MAN, OH MAN, OH MAN. What a friggin' challenge that is. Buddha, how on earth did you do this?! Not only did I finally come face to face with someone who discriminated against women (particularly SINGLE MOTHERS), but also someone who was unapologetic about it. He also prides himself as a businessman above all else, instead of...say, being a human being. LOL What a challenge. He probably doesn't like me very much but I did try my best not to react to all the things that he has said to me in the past, and instead, chose the higher road. But he took it as contempt or just me being ignorant and intentionally ignoring him...maybe because of my perceived 'guilt'. Wow. Today, I'll post this as a reminder to all of us who face such people in our lives. There's really nothing we can do when we meet them except to ...

Those predictors were not too far off the mark when they said the year of the pig is not a good year for me. Man, they didn't tell me it was gonna suck so bad. It's final. The woman my ex-husband cheated with on me has finally been accepted into his family home. What really broke me and tore me into pieces was that they disliked me or hated me so much as to not tell me that they was going to be there for the opening of the CNY get-together. They all expected me to sit there and suck it up like nothing happened. Like she was a new friend. That she didn't betray me. Like she didn't harass me when they were fucking around with each other. Like she didn't drag me into her drama while I was struggling to battle my own demons. With her in the picture with the "official family", they're giving me the boot. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not my fault, it wasn't me who cheated, I was treated like trash but I hung on, I tried my best, ...