Alone

I am doing everything alone. I see other people who get to delegate tasks amongst family members and I can't help feeling helplessly jealous that they have each other. It's no wonder I am so damn tired at the end of the day. I am only human. 

Be kind to myself if others are not going to be kind or understanding to me.

When I was young, I used to be indefatigable. I had this belief that I can be anything I wanted to be...whether it was a banker, singer, a business woman, a writer, a freelance worker without a boss. 

I believed all of that and went headfirst into them all...and I am what I wanted to be. I am super proud of that fact. 

Now, I just need to find that part of me again and keep that thought in my head. I can be whatever I want to be and just need to focus and continue giving it everything I've got.

There's just so much to do - from preparing proposals to sending emails, from attending meetings/interviews to mopping the floor, from prepping the kids lunch and dinner to editing and writing. Everything is on my shoulders and I have a feeling some people might already consider that a difficult feat. And yet, here I am, all alone and doing it.

It's no wonder that I am overwhelmed. Jealousy is still there, of course, I can't help that. But what I can do is try to overcome that feeling with positive emotions. Things could have been worse. Really, they could've been. 

Right now, I am just overwhelmed and lost. 

But there's a saying that goes something like this - it is only when you're lost that you start to find yourself again. 

I continue to believe that to be true. 

I am stronger than this. I can do it. So can you.