Since moving out of our long-time home, it's been some time since I can say that I am happy living in a place that feels like home.
The previous house was hell. Now I see it. I guess, the landlord being an asshole with me and the kids is a blessing in disguise after all. It may seem like such a high price to pay, in terms of getting bullied, angry and unfairly treated and money-wise, if they did not kick us out when they did, I would still have been trying to tolerate living in that house.
Everything, therefore, happens for a reason.
Yeah, I know the traffic here is horrendous and it's so far away from what I am so accustomed to but generally speaking, this feels more like home than the previous house ever will.
They've said some really mean things to me and I've also retaliated (I know I am no angel too) but it can only go downhill if we continued staying in that house. They hate me so much that it made me wonder if I was really all in the wrong. I wonder too, despite how confident some people say I am. I am not.
I wondered if I was an ungrateful person. I wondered if I was a horrid tenant. I wondered if I was being a bitch. I wondered if what they said of me, living like a queen with my kids, was true. I wondered about everything they said about me.
At the end of the day, these doubts had to be dispelled in order for me to move forward and learn from this lesson and experience.
Yes, this is a learning experience - that people like this live in this world and there is sometimes no way to avoid them. They're still holding my money and me ransom. My aunt said that that shouldn't be the way and I agree. But it is something I need to learn.
While helping my father with his business, I am also encountering lots of different people with their own clashing personalities, demands, needs, and preferences. I guess I've been working alone for such a long time that I am no longer as flexible in thinking and feeling as I used to be.
My care-free, faith-filled, innocent nature is gone. But it's for the better, I guess, although I do not want to lose the sense of wonder and curiosity. That's me, my personality, a side of me that I prefer to be like.
I refuse to let some people batter me down to a pulp without being kind to myself. I am doing my best with whatever I have and that's all the world can ask of me.
I am not going to waste my time and energy on people who don't deserve my attention and time. Time is limited and we shouldn't waste it on undeserving things, situations, and people.
The previous house was hell. Now I see it. I guess, the landlord being an asshole with me and the kids is a blessing in disguise after all. It may seem like such a high price to pay, in terms of getting bullied, angry and unfairly treated and money-wise, if they did not kick us out when they did, I would still have been trying to tolerate living in that house.
Everything, therefore, happens for a reason.
Yeah, I know the traffic here is horrendous and it's so far away from what I am so accustomed to but generally speaking, this feels more like home than the previous house ever will.
They've said some really mean things to me and I've also retaliated (I know I am no angel too) but it can only go downhill if we continued staying in that house. They hate me so much that it made me wonder if I was really all in the wrong. I wonder too, despite how confident some people say I am. I am not.
I wondered if I was an ungrateful person. I wondered if I was a horrid tenant. I wondered if I was being a bitch. I wondered if what they said of me, living like a queen with my kids, was true. I wondered about everything they said about me.
At the end of the day, these doubts had to be dispelled in order for me to move forward and learn from this lesson and experience.
Yes, this is a learning experience - that people like this live in this world and there is sometimes no way to avoid them. They're still holding my money and me ransom. My aunt said that that shouldn't be the way and I agree. But it is something I need to learn.
While helping my father with his business, I am also encountering lots of different people with their own clashing personalities, demands, needs, and preferences. I guess I've been working alone for such a long time that I am no longer as flexible in thinking and feeling as I used to be.
My care-free, faith-filled, innocent nature is gone. But it's for the better, I guess, although I do not want to lose the sense of wonder and curiosity. That's me, my personality, a side of me that I prefer to be like.
I refuse to let some people batter me down to a pulp without being kind to myself. I am doing my best with whatever I have and that's all the world can ask of me.
I am not going to waste my time and energy on people who don't deserve my attention and time. Time is limited and we shouldn't waste it on undeserving things, situations, and people.
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