Single Mom Striking Out

I used to take-away from this quaint little stall in the morning after dropping the kids off to school. I would then come home to an instant healthy breakfast. But as I snuck my way around to the stall again this morning, after a long break, I was dismayed to find it gone.  I honestly thought that the stall and the owner would be there forever. Nothing remains the same , I am reminded again. Things are changing and people adapt. I guess it is another lesson and reminder about the impermanence of things in life. I honestly thought it was going to be where I can get healthy breakfast every morning regardless because they have been there since as long as I can remember. A staple destination for those looking for cheap, healthy alternative breakfast. And yet.. There is no birth or death, but arrival and departure from one form to the next This is, of course, also a reminder to always appreciate what we have in front our eyes and in our lives at this very momen...

I have a stack of cards, some call it Tarot cards which I bought some years back. It's supposed to be answers given by Archangel Michael, a protector, healer and the leader of an army against evil.  When I am confused or need an answer that my friends or family can't give me, I sometimes use the cards, just for reassurances.  I've never gotten a bad card before and I started doubting if there were any bad cards in the stack. There were. I then started to question the validity of the cards since I've almost always gotten very positive or neutral cards.  But last night, something happened and it's something that I've always known was bad for me. I know because for over 10 years, I know this person has done bad things to me, despite the fact that he is not a bad person. Deep down, he's a good person in many other ways. Just not to me or simply a bad match for me.  Because of the suddenness of it all, I asked Archangel Michael to offer me some i...

Part of zen is not to hang onto rotten pasts. Also part of zen is to not hang onto good ones. Things change all the time and we must remain flexible even when things are looking up for us because neither good or bad will stay forever. I've said it before that the end of 2016 and the whole of 2017 was a struggle for me and the kids. This year, things are a little better already. But it's not all rose bushes, rainbows and unicorns. Adjustment is always hard. I view it, however, as positive adjustments.  Here's a reminder to myself that although things are changing little by little where hope is opening up a few windows for us this year, we are not to hang onto the little wins either.  It would be like drinking wine/beer and trying to hang onto the high. Tomorrow is a new day and while we appreciate and are grateful for the good things that are coming, attachment is going to bring on pain.  One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. And trust that w...

This should inspire me to keep my act together for the other non-drinking days.  I used to use alcohol as an outlet for release during the harshest days, it was my way of saying eff it all . But it often, as we all know, result in the horriblest mornings ever. You struggle not just in the morning, but after lunch, your head in ready to explode, if not implode.  I think one of the best ways to move me forward, something of a reward, is to guarantee myself that I can drink to high heavens, back to hell and then soar without a care in the world is to reward myself every Friday or Saturday....or both! So, all I need to actually do is to survive 5 days of being normal and then 2 days of absolute wild abandon. Sort of giving your mental health a bit of a break from all that freaking thinking, analyzing and worrying.  Let's see how this works, eh? 

It's been a tough year but it's not beaten us yet. I sincerely hope for a better year ahead! Nothing crazy easy or super amazing, just a little easier than before. I wish all sentient beings on this planet, whether you're enjoying a much-needed break with your family/friends, or trying to get ready for the new school year for your children, all the best that the world has to offer.  I am not sure if this is a real quote but I agree all the same.  Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man/woman - Benjamin Franklin All of us have battles to fight, people to face, challenges to overcome, resolutions to meet, children to feed, families or friends to love, and a life of dreams to achieve.  May we never forget the core missions in this life and achieve as many things in those missions as possible in 2018. 

Isn't it funny? Another year is approaching. It seems as though we've only just welcomed the new year, 2017, with fireworks and me, with  an air-filled, aching digestive system.  And yet, here we are. At the threshold of another new year.  Not only have I stopped making new year resolutions but it has been years since I've last earnestly updated my Facebook with a status update. Except for wishing my family and friends an official birthday or a festival, I've almost completely stopped using Facebook.  Amongst all the social networks out there, I think Facebook is the most toxic, not because it was designed to be that way, but because of the sheer number of people there.  People who don't know you but have met you probably don't care about what you post of Facebook but it is the people who KNOW you very well are the ones you should avoid. So, in my personal opinion, if we want to continue building real life relationships with real people in real ...

I am one of those who tell myself that others have it worse than me. I no longer know how to cry or whine. I don't believe it is a weakness, I just think it doesn't serve me and I need to move on instead of dwell. But there is some truth in this statement : letting it out and acknowledging the painful emotion is an important part of the healing process. In not allowing ourselves to be weak forces us to pretend and move on and not giving ourselves the chance to heal. Like a physical wound, emotional ones need space, time and attention as well. This coming year, I'll try to do more acknowledging and less running.