My son lost something today. Something that he failed to value much but have kept him company for a long time. Funny that it is that it took him all of 30 minutes to recover and I spent much of the day mulling the loss. After crying and sobbing into the pillow, he found a way to accept it and let it go.
It dawned on me that the reason why I kept mulling over it was not the fact that it was expensive. It was because I was dependent on that device to keep my son entertained while I did my things. A babysitter of sort. Wrong, I know. I guess that is the reason why the device is lost. The reason behind it is that I need to stop using these devices to keep my kids from being in the real world and for me to spend more time with them, connecting the way parents should.
The difference between how he dealt with it and how I did it was that he spent some time crying over it, regretting it and then finding a way to accept the fact. And I spent much of the time wishing I could turn back time and remind him to bring the device back. I wish he still had it and it wasn't lost. That we could suddenly find it in a corner of the home or in the car. Or some kind-hearted individual finally thought about it and returned it to us.
It didn't happen the way I wished for it to happen. Reality is the way reality is.
Instead of mulling over it, refusing to cry and accept the fact, we hurt ourselves. We run around in circles of impossible wishes.
Yes, we can replace it and get another one but I don't think I should.
There are lessons to be learned here. Number one, we should appreciate the things or people that we have right now because one day, they might go away. Impermanence. Number two, I should be a better parent and stop using all these electronic devices as a babysitter. There's no better babysitter than me. Number three, that my son should be more appreciative and careful about the things that he has and others don't. Number four, people are greedy. Although I am the kind of person who would return $1 or $1 million that did not belong to me if I could find the owner, not everyone is the same way.
And since we can't singularly change the world, we should just cry. Cry at the top of our lungs and then move on. Just like my son...not me. We hurt because we try to be too strong.
I like to apply simple things in life to life. The logic, I hope you can apply to your life as well. A loss in the family, bankruptcy, a job, a friend....well, your cell phone. =) If it's lost, it's lost. Allow yourself a period of grief, and find a way in your heart to move on and stop wishing it wasn't the way it was.
It just is.
It dawned on me that the reason why I kept mulling over it was not the fact that it was expensive. It was because I was dependent on that device to keep my son entertained while I did my things. A babysitter of sort. Wrong, I know. I guess that is the reason why the device is lost. The reason behind it is that I need to stop using these devices to keep my kids from being in the real world and for me to spend more time with them, connecting the way parents should.
The difference between how he dealt with it and how I did it was that he spent some time crying over it, regretting it and then finding a way to accept the fact. And I spent much of the time wishing I could turn back time and remind him to bring the device back. I wish he still had it and it wasn't lost. That we could suddenly find it in a corner of the home or in the car. Or some kind-hearted individual finally thought about it and returned it to us.
It didn't happen the way I wished for it to happen. Reality is the way reality is.
Instead of mulling over it, refusing to cry and accept the fact, we hurt ourselves. We run around in circles of impossible wishes.
Yes, we can replace it and get another one but I don't think I should.
There are lessons to be learned here. Number one, we should appreciate the things or people that we have right now because one day, they might go away. Impermanence. Number two, I should be a better parent and stop using all these electronic devices as a babysitter. There's no better babysitter than me. Number three, that my son should be more appreciative and careful about the things that he has and others don't. Number four, people are greedy. Although I am the kind of person who would return $1 or $1 million that did not belong to me if I could find the owner, not everyone is the same way.
And since we can't singularly change the world, we should just cry. Cry at the top of our lungs and then move on. Just like my son...not me. We hurt because we try to be too strong.
I like to apply simple things in life to life. The logic, I hope you can apply to your life as well. A loss in the family, bankruptcy, a job, a friend....well, your cell phone. =) If it's lost, it's lost. Allow yourself a period of grief, and find a way in your heart to move on and stop wishing it wasn't the way it was.
It just is.
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