Single Mom Striking Out

We often wait for the right time to do things. We try to prepare. Is there a right time to do things? To do ANYTHING? I find myself pausing, thinking that what is out there is unknown. It's scary and I am not ready. But are we EVER ready completely? I've heard it a thousand times over that I should take the leap and honestly speaking, as a youth, I was really good at taking the leap. I wasn't afraid of anything because I thought I knew what to do. Of course I walked into walls. But I continued walking anyway . That's the bravado of the young. Now that I have children and am significantly older, the pausing has become longer. There is no right time to do anything. Anything in life can snap and be taken away from us without notice, anyway. So, if we think about it, what's the point of pausing and waiting for the right time again? In reality, the time may never come. Anyone can talk about it, I know, and it makes sense. But when you're ...

The world tells us lots of stories all the time. Some of them are painful, as with the recent Florida shooting. How are we to sit there meditating and feel at peace with ourselves and the world? This article tells us something simple. If you find a parking spot, do you sit there and hang out, or do you get out of the car to your intended destination? You don't have to hang out with the bad things you experience and you don't have to hang out with the good either. You just need to reach there, get out and move on. Tomorrow, you'll need to find a new parking spot. https://www.lionsroar.com/how-could-meditation-feel-peaceful-after-a-mass-shooting/

Life is fleeting and we have a finite number of days, finite number of hours, finite number of minutes and finite number of seconds in this world. We have to choose how we react, accept and battle each thing that comes our way. We can't fight all of them because that's not what we are meant to do. We don't know when it is our time to go and there's no time to worry about what everyone thinks of you. Only the important ones deserve your attention and time. Choose wisely.

I was listening to a Buddhist podcast today about 'polygamous marriage'. Yes, a monk talking about marriage. Get that. But there was a lot of sense made there. For one, impermanence and loving yourself. I've had a friend who boasts of self love to me consistently. Even when I am not asking, she would insist that she loves herself. But she is not capable of being BY HERSELF. I am not speculating or condemning anyone but this is a fact that I know first hand. Anyway, the monk highlighted something that truly made sense to me. If you love yourself, you don't have to be with anyone. But when you ARE in a relationship, you are more capable of appreciating the person instead of needing the person. This makes for a stronger relationship because you don't take things for granted. Every single day with this person is a bonus. So when things end (and in his words, it WILL end and it is not going to be 'end up in heaven together at the same time' )...

The wonderful effects of hugging is exponential. It's like a pain relief, and a way to reconnect or connect with another human being. That's why it is a must for me to hug my kids everyday. People can say anything that they want to say about me as a parent because it is their right. But I will never stop showing my kids affection. A part of me also acknowledges the fact that one day they might, they MIGHT, not need as many hugs from me anymore. They would have other 'people' in their lives to provide the comfort. So, I would rather claim my fair share of hugs now than feel the regret of never having hugged my kids more later on in life. Hugging is therapeutic. I hope we all do it more.

I have a ton of free Buddhist books that I have received from the temple. They are free to take. But it's books and information are encouraged to be shared and passed on. So, today, I'll share something from Venerable Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda. " Man must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, proud and unbending enough in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

I've talked about the changing world and our circumstances here in the past and said that change can be good, surprising, painful, a learning curve. But one of the hardest thing about change is changing yourself to suit the new challenges. When something changes, you can't remain 100 percent the person that you are today. Therefore, we need to change along with it. A new route. A new way of life. A new thought. A new perspective. A new problem and new solutions. The hard part about it is not in changing something in your life. It's in changing yourself. A divorce, a new job, a new home. It requires adjustments and it is in these new adjustments that we are sometimes most uncomfortable with. It's ok to be a little uncomfortable yet optimistic about the new things in life. If one thinks about it the way one learns to work a new toy or electrical equipment we just bought, we'll think of it as fun discoveries. Challenges can be fun discoveries yet pai...

My life is so full of everything that I treasure and love that I don't really have time for other people..... In particular, a soul mate. Seriously, someone asked me the other day if I was 'in love' as if I have someone in my life. Although there are people in my life and some are interested but I find it absolutely tiring and frustrating. It is like I have to 'deal with' another person, as if my life is not already full right now. I love my kids but being a single mother is tough stuff and people sometimes assume that we 'just need a little love/sex'. Er.... No. Far from it. What I need is a lot more space for myself. I know I have the kids right now and I don't feel lonely, there are people promising me that my life will change drastically when they grow up, but at this point, I just want to trust my gut. If I feel like someone can enrich my life with love and encouragement, then I will trust my gut. If I feel that someone is simply fooling around...