If there is one thing that I have to disagree with society, it would be parenting style. Unlike conventional parents (I do not pass judgment if you disagree with me - I am merely observing), I try not to push my kids in every other direction in life.
Children are the purest things ever! They have all the rest of their lives to be unpure, so, I think our role as parents whether you are Buddhist or not, is to guide them and accept them for what they are. The reason why some people choose to push their kids directions is because we attach ourselves to them. Zen Buddhism is about not attaching yourself to anything because everything is impermanent. Suffering starts only when you start to attach yourself to objects, money, people, car, house...etc.
Think about it.
With the kids, it's the same. We are in this journey together, yes, but you are you and they are them. Some parents say to me, 'But we have to make sure that they make something of themselves in this life. They must learn how to support themselves, become rich so that they can provide for you (parent) and their family members too,' which is, to a certain extent, quite true.
They should be taught how to be hard-working, focused, disciplined, have direction, committed...etc.
Modern society have morphed this into something else. Yes, MONEY.
One must study hard just to make money so that you can make more money for yourself.
Really? Says who that if you can't do well in school you can't make money? And besides, you can't take money into your grave with you, so why place so much importance on it?
I believe in letting the kids lead the way. Like if they show an interest in making movies, show them the way and help them stay committed to it. Let's do this together and see it to fruition. Make them feel proud and let them explore their way during this lifetime. Believe it or not, the kids are born into this world with their very own spiritual agenda too....they are not here to fulfill THE PARENT's agenda.
I don't know, maybe I am funny that way. Maybe my way is the wrong way, who knows? I am also just exploring these ideas and is prone to making mistakes too.
But in Zen Buddhism, it was found in some scriptures and books that we should not impose our ideals and our mission in life on the people around us. Our parents, siblings, spouse, best-friends and kids. They have their own personal battles to handle too.
Children are the purest things ever! They have all the rest of their lives to be unpure, so, I think our role as parents whether you are Buddhist or not, is to guide them and accept them for what they are. The reason why some people choose to push their kids directions is because we attach ourselves to them. Zen Buddhism is about not attaching yourself to anything because everything is impermanent. Suffering starts only when you start to attach yourself to objects, money, people, car, house...etc.
Think about it.
With the kids, it's the same. We are in this journey together, yes, but you are you and they are them. Some parents say to me, 'But we have to make sure that they make something of themselves in this life. They must learn how to support themselves, become rich so that they can provide for you (parent) and their family members too,' which is, to a certain extent, quite true.
They should be taught how to be hard-working, focused, disciplined, have direction, committed...etc.
Modern society have morphed this into something else. Yes, MONEY.
One must study hard just to make money so that you can make more money for yourself.
Really? Says who that if you can't do well in school you can't make money? And besides, you can't take money into your grave with you, so why place so much importance on it?
I believe in letting the kids lead the way. Like if they show an interest in making movies, show them the way and help them stay committed to it. Let's do this together and see it to fruition. Make them feel proud and let them explore their way during this lifetime. Believe it or not, the kids are born into this world with their very own spiritual agenda too....they are not here to fulfill THE PARENT's agenda.
I don't know, maybe I am funny that way. Maybe my way is the wrong way, who knows? I am also just exploring these ideas and is prone to making mistakes too.
But in Zen Buddhism, it was found in some scriptures and books that we should not impose our ideals and our mission in life on the people around us. Our parents, siblings, spouse, best-friends and kids. They have their own personal battles to handle too.
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