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Is Life Really In Our Hands?

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I posted this picture before I found out bad bad news today. It seems as though my relative is not making it too well with her chemo and the doctor has pretty negative things to say about her condition recently. 

Because her body has been taking a beating, they ruled out chemo and trying to find alternatives. 

Every time bad things happen, I sit down every single day to pray for them, light an extra joss stick on their behalf and pray. 

I am beginning to lose faith in the power of prayer, I have to admit. 

I spend nearly 2 months praying everyday, keeping my friend in my thoughts, for her to wake up from her coma. It didn't work. At the same time, I also prayed for my relative's well-being and it looked as if she was fighting back and doing OK-ish. 

But it's not really so. 

She's been admitted into the hospital and not doing so well. The doctor's preparing everyone for the worst case scenario. 

I feel downtrodden because the prayers don't work. The thoughts don't work. Miracles don't happen. I am in one of my states I guess, after hearing something negative, I lose a little faith in humanity. Being positive is tough. 

I'll try again another day. As long as I have another day and my relative is still here to receive it, I will continue to be my stubborn self. If we don't keep positive, negative wins. 

We deal with whatever we can and whatever we deserve will find its way
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