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Needing An Answer

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Sometimes the need to find an answer is overwhelming when it comes to your loved ones, isn't it? Anyone who is a parent will know this better than anyone else. The sudden demise. The unanswered questions. The unending personal debate about whether it was your fault. The devil that sits on your shoulder, consistently telling you things that your mind wants to forget. 

There are various stages of loss:-
  • First, you deny  it
  • Then you're furiously angry that it happened or things are not going your way
  • You bargain for another answer...any OTHER better answer to the insane things that are going through your head
  • You sink into the deep dark hole of depression and refuses to see anyone or answer any other questions. You refuse consolation or comfort of any kind. 
  • And then finally, you accept that things happened and it's not going to change any time soon, no matter what you did. 

I know this personally when my friend committed suicide and although I was never exceptionally close to him, the questions were relentless. The why, the who, the what, the where, the what-on-earth-just-happened. But it doesn't end quite as swiftly as people want it to...because sometimes, it doesn't end at all. 

To this very day, I know relatives who are still grieving, every single Chinese New Year, over the unjust and untimely death of their mother who was stabbed to death in a botched robbery. I don't have an answer for all of their questions and whatever the sentence passed onto the perpetrator, it will never bring their mother back. That's the sad truth that we all have to face in such uncertain circumstances. 

These 8 ways to deal with picking yourself up from TinyBuddha might help although they are a little cliche if you've been reading as many of these things as I have, but the gist is there. 

I don't know about you or anyone else, but I feel that the German mother should be given access to her kid's Facebook account. As trivial as some people may find it, it is ONE way to get to the core of the questions she might have swirling around in her head. At the very least, assist in that, if nothing else. 


Credit: 
  1. German Mother wants answers to kid's facebook account to determine if it was suicice - The Star
  2. Grief.com
  3. TinyBuddha.com
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