What Do I Do To Make Things Work Around Here?

I feel resentful again today. Every time I look at the lives my friends have, I resent the fact that I have to do everything on my own. Everything from cooking to paying the bills, ensuring the kitchen is stocked to making sure the car doesn't break down.

Everything.

I wonder what I did that was so wrong in my past life to deserve a life like this. Or is it the fact that I brought this onto myself. Or maybe I was living a pampered life before this, therefore, it's even-ing itself out.

I wanted to go for a networking event for my business but I had to deal with my kids' lunch before I do. But then because we're all a bunch of lazy asses, we got out of bed late and I had to rush out the door to make it for the event.

My kids were sauntering around, worried about nothing, while I was thinking to myself that the event was a great way to introduce myself and my business to other freelancers and businesses.

And yet...I decided it was too stressful. My kids were still wearing their 'bed' look and the event was in Bangsar.

Is it me, is it them, is it us, or is it not meant to be?

I have to make money to keep this family together and I am the only one struggling. I know they're still teenagers but maybe people are right, they're pampered teens. They're really not helping me at all, you know. They have no idea how stressful this is for me, to be struggling and staggering around like this, like a mad woman. A woman and a mom trying to make things work.

I don't know anymore.

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